If you’ve been following along, you know that we’re slugging through those hazy crazy newborn days right now. We’re just two months into life with Charlie, and all the adjustments that come with that.
And I know what you’re about to say… because I’ve felt the very same words slipping out of my mouth to other moms:
“Oh those sweet newborn days, I miss them so much”
“Enjoy every moment, it passes so quickly”
“I’d give anything to go back to that newborn stage, just soak up every second”
“This time is the sweetest, don’t you just love it so much?!”
But you know what?
I don’t.
I don’t love it.
I’m just going to leave that there for a moment, because that was pretty hard to admit publicly.
It actually took a third-time mom from my son’s preschool, coming up to me as I was crazily juggling Charlie’s car seat, while trying to get Em into his winter clothes at pick-up, while I’m sure looking like some kind of exhausted zombie. She looked at me and said, ‘You’re doing great.’ And then you know what she said? To virtually a complete stranger? She said, ‘man, those newborn days were the worst for me.’
Just. Like. That.
I stumbled back to my car with both kids, and almost broke into tears right there. I don’t even think I said anything back to her… but I was thinking YES!!! They’re the worst for me too!
And you know what? Admitting that doesn’t mean I love my sweet babies any less. It doesn’t mean there aren’t a hundred times a day in this newborn phase that I don’t look at them and think my heart is going to burst for all the love I have for them.
It just means that I also have an (admittedly slightly neurotic) need for planning and organization in my life. And given that newborns basically hijack ANY semblance of plan or order, and throw you into three months of chaos and a game of ‘who knows how much sleep I’ll get today’ roulette… it really is one of the toughest phases for me.
I really DON’T love every moment. And I’m not completely convinced I’ll look back on this particular phase wishing that I was in it again (that certainly never happened with Emmett).
But what I do know is this. It’s OKAY to admit that. We don’t have to love every single stage to love our kids more than anything. And we owe it to other moms to make it okay for them to admit to not loving every moment too. No sugar-coating required.
So it’s settled. I’m going to be that mom at preschool. The one who when she sees that exhausted, struggling new mom, just says ‘Wow, you’re doing great. That newborn phase really was the worst for me. Now, can I carry that carseat?’
Xo
